Building Self-Esteem

So, really self-esteem is the one area I spend the most time on with each of my clients. They may not have consulted for self-esteem issues but it is always a central factor to the symptoms I see people for. 

What is it? Self-esteem us our overall perception of oursleves, how we value ourselves. What we think we are worth. When we have low SE then it has a significant impact on how we handle situations and deal with life, relationships, work etc. Really every aspect of life is affected by SE. 

How do you know if it is low? We may have the following thoughts or feelings:

Feeling worthless or not good enough

Hating or disliking ourselves

Struggling to make decisons

Feeling unloved or unliked

Being too perfectionist

Blaming ourselves for absolutely everything

Feeling guilty for spending time on ourselves

Not recognising strengths

Low confidence

Feel we don't deserve to be happy

It is very easy to see how these limiting beliefs would hold a person back and keep them from living the life they really want. The good news about SE is that it is entirely in our own hands to change it and nurture it. It is our opinion of ourselves after all, so no one else can actually dictate it. There are lots of ways we can build SE, here are just a few:

1/ Focus on your positives. Keep a regular list of your daily positive experiences and achievements. There will be far more than you realised once you start doing this. When you have low SE you automatically overlook the positives.

2/ Keep an eye on that negative self talk. Stop putting yourself down and talk to yourself as you would a friend.

3/ Spend time with those who really love you.

4/ Learn to speak up for yourself & say NO once in a while!

5/ Set yourself goals & challenges

6/ Self care. Look after yourself at a basic level. Diet, exercise, relaxation.

7/ Ask for help & support when you need it.

8/ Perfectionism is a sure way to slay your SE. Are you placing mega high standards on yourself? Do you beat yourself up for doing or saying the wrong things. Do you feel you should be doing more. Are you not good looking enough, not a good enough friend/parent/colleague? If so, start letting yourself off the hook a bit! You can't be everything all at once. Play on your strengths and what is unique and wonderful about you.

L x